Mama Lisa & Jacob

Mama Lisa & Jacob
Mama Lisa & Jacob Thomas

Friday, January 25, 2013

Vision

Many of you may have noticed my inspiration for writing has dwindled some.  Besides filling you in on the daily life of our family, the inspired words have slipped into a puddle of tears.  Lately my emotions are so erratic and come at the most bizarre times....middle of a basketball game, driving down the highway, or a booth at a restaurant surrounded by those I love...minus one.  Even now as I type this I can barely see!
The "inspiration" behind this post is vision.  I have needed new glasses for quite some time, however during Tom's illness that was not a top priority to have my eyes examined.  I remember so vividly taking Tom for his eye exam this past summer and how hard that was for both of us, him not being able to communicate well and the doctor telling him there wasn't much they could do to help, was so disheartening.  I guess I was avoiding going back into that environment with a heart full of heavy memories.  Well, I did it and once again God sees me through each hard task.  I finally picked up my new glasses yesterday and I'm thinking they are so similar to the last pair that no one would even begin to notice, minus the scratches and better view for me!  What a praise to be able to see, clearly.  And even with new glasses I realize my vision is only partially perspective.  Is the glass half full or half empty?  I'm learning through this grieving process that Satan wants me to focus on what I've had taken from me.  God wants me to focus on what I have!  I battle back and forth between the focusing part.  It's a lot like the bifocals in my glasses.  I need to nod my head a little when looking at things up close and pull it back a little to see at a distance.  Where, Who, what do I want to focus on?  Each day is a little different...BUT my goal is to keep my focus on Jesus and what He has done, what he is doing and what He is going to do!  My cup is full and running over...but, do I always choose that focus?  I have to be honest and real...no...I sometimes woller in the "woe is me", but by God's grace and His faithfulness He sends His people to lift me up, encourage me and draw me back to God's loving arms.  Whether in person, through a text, e-mail, Facebook message, a card of encouragement or whispers of prayer on my behalf...I am ever amazed at the body of Christ!
As my tea turns cold, the snow lays a blanket of white outside...my heart is warm.  Warm with thoughts and memories of Tom, an amazing family who encourages, strengthens and supports, and the abundance of friends who keep me moving, giving me inspiration and not letting my circumstances rule my life.
"And I saw another angel flying in midheaven,
having an eternal gospel to preach to those who live on the earth,
and to every nation and tribe and tongue and people;
and he said with a loud voice,
Fear God, and give Him glory,
because the hour of His judgment has come;
worship Him who made the heaven and the earth and sea and springs of waters.”
Revelation 14:6-7
What does the "gospel" mean to you?  Thank you to Pam Woods for the wonderful lunch we shared this week and for the encouragement of the gospel she gave me...a shot in the arm.
These four truths are from an article Paul Tripp wrote on the gospel:
1.  Grace (gospel) will decimate what you think of you, while it gives you a security of identity you've never had!
2.  Grace (gospel) will expose your deepest sins of heart, while it covers every failure with the blood of Jesus!
3.  Grace (gospel) will make you face how weak you are, while it blesses you with power beyond your ability to calculate!
4.  Grace (gospel) will take control out of your hands (scary), while it blesses you with the care of One Whose plan is unshakable and perfect in every way!
"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened,
so that you will know what is the hope of His calling,
what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints,
and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe.
These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might
which He brought about in Christ,
when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand
in the heavenly places,
far above all rule and authority and power and dominion,
and every name that is named,
not only in this age but also in the one to come.
 And He put all things in subjection under His feet,
and gave Him as head over all things to the church,
which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all."
Ephesians 1:18-23
Praying God will wrap His arms around you as you seek Him and His plan for YOU.
Trust Him, He is trustworthy...look at me!
I'm so grateful for the ability to have my vision corrected, however it is still only a correction of the physical "outward appearance" and the real correction I/we need is of the heart.  Lord, help me see people through "cross-eyed" vision...seeing them as You see them and having a compassion that only comes from Your Holy Spirit residing in me.
Is your cup half full or half empty...it's your choice to tip your head and focus on Jesus or tip it and focus on yourself?
I'm at that age where many of my friends are turning that lovely number 5-0...Tom would have celebrated his 50th last November 3rd.  He missed it shy of 24 days.  I guess if I had my choice a 50th birthday party in heaven wouldn't be so bad...best party ever!  I'm not quite there yet, but if I have the opportunity to celebrate in heaven I'll be thankful Tom and I can celebrate with Jesus together...we'll have to wait and see!  God's will be done.  Anyway, three of my very good friends celebrated this milestone event in January and I was blessed to be a part of their celebration.
Celebrating 50...Carylee, Karen & Terri
You girls are AMAZING!
(L to R) Carylee, Karen, Suzanne, Midge, Jill, Tracy, Terri & Lisa)
Another SURPRISE...
Bethany, Sarah & Heidi
Sarah's two special friends from Grace College came to surprise Sarah for the Grace vs. MVNU game last Saturday.  They arrived on Friday night and had sweet fellowship (Zac & I were all in on this plan) and Sarah was VERY surprised and so happy to have them.  Beth and Heidi were so sweet to bring me flowers AND cook a delicious breakfast for us on Saturday morning before leaving for the game.  It was another loss for Matt's cougar team but many Grace fans were happy with the win.  After the game 13 of us joined for dinner at Parkside.  What encouragement to me that group of people are.  In spite of my sadness and tears they continue to uplift and stick by me.  I don't have a picture, but the group was:  Lisa, Sarah, Zac, Matt, Terry, Kelly, Zac, Mike, Cheryl, Morgan, Beth, Heidi and Nate...thanks everyone for your love towards us!
Quilting Project
I'm so thankful for projects to keep me busy on the days I feel well.  I have been blessed to have had the opportunity to make three tee shirt quilts as graduation gifts over the past four years.  I am making one now for Jess Meyers, Carylee's youngest, who will graduate from WCHS in June.  It is coming along nicely and always a good winter project.
Not only does Carylee keep me busy with fun shopping trips, eating out, and day to day "adventures", BUT she and her recently engaged daughter, Morgan, have asked me to help with the wedding plans!  I already lay awake at night scheming up ideas and thinking through things and the wedding isn't even until September!  As I have had time to get out and about, my "design on a dime" mentality has gotten some items to use for the reception decorating!  I'm so looking forward to it all coming together and trust Joel and Morgan will find it to be just the way they wanted it!
My "box" of fall decorating goodies!
Joel & Morgan
Congratulations!
"You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows."
Psalm 23:5

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Three Down, One to Go


"Precious Name!  It forms a blessed guarantee that nothing can befall me but what is for my good.  I cannot doubt His faithfulness.  I dare not question the rightness of His dispensations.  It is covenant love which is now darkening my earthly horizon.  This hour He is the same as when as when He "spared not His own Son!". Oh, instead of wondering at my trials, let me rather wonder that He has borne with me so long. It is of the Lord's unchanging MERCIES that I am not consumed."
-Dr. John R. McDuff
This is a hard truth for me to grasp...but I KNOW it's true...therefore I praise Him that I'm not consumed by the pain, loss and grief I experience day to day in Tom's absence and my diagnosis/treatment...He sustains me, moment by moment.
Thou O Lord
He is the lifter of my head...
I was overcome with surprise as Matt came into sit by me in church on Sunday!  He made my day.  He went to the OSU vs Michigan game with Kent Homoelle and Austin Morgan in the afternoon and was back in time to go to communion Sunday evening with me.  Thank you, Kent for taking Matt under your wing!  Through many tears and waves of emotion I made it through the communion service.  The last communion I was able to attend, Tom was at my side.  This time I concentrated on Tom's sweet communion with Jesus, face to face!  What an amazing sacrifice of God's Son that enables us to have the hope of heaven!  Thank you to Carylee for so tenderly caring for me through these hard times allowing me to wash her feet...pure friendship.
This treatment has been the best so far.  I'm thinking my body is starting to adjust to the harshness of
chemotherapy!  I believe I took a leap of faith in going to communion and exposing myself to germs that are very prevalent this time of year in Ohio, but I don't want to sit at home alone missing opportunities God has for me to trust Him.  Today I am feeling a sinus/cold coming back on.  Please pray that it will be short lived and not get me down like last time.
Thank you to all who graciously brought meals this past weekend:
 
Tortilla Soup, Salad, Fresh Cantaloupe and
 
Cookies!
And a Longaberger "Hope" Basket from Terri Parrish's mom!
Thank You, Terri for a delicious meal and your sweet friendship!
 
Stuffed Chicken Breasts, Sweet Potatoes, Green Beans and
 
Blueberry Cheesecake Pie!
Thank You, Bob & Jan Johnson for an awesome meal!
Thank You, Laurie Gatton for the Taco Bake, Salad and
 
more yummy cookies!
Thank You, Bob & Jan for the movie gift card & candy!
Thank You, Susan Burby for the "hope of Spring" crocus'!
Thank You, Mary Gum Dilworth for the sweet package of books, stationary & encouragement!
 
A super special bracelet from my super special sister...
"A sister is God's way of making sure we never walk alone."
 
Love you, Kel!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Three on Three


Tom was a "numbers guy" and I know the three on three would catch his attention!  Today marks his third month in his eternal home and I'm SO jealous!  Today marks my third treatment and he's NOT jealous!  I am thankful to be on the "home stretch" and seeing an end to this craziness.  I tried to share with a friend that in some way I believe God has allowed me this "season" to get me through the grief process.  I know it may sound strange...but with my busy medical schedule, feeling badly most days and on the good days making up for the bad days with a busy schedule...I am thinking it makes the grieving process different than in most situations.  Please don't take me wrong...it's still tough, and maybe in some ways tougher because I can't separate my sadness/grief...but still the same I am trusting God that He is in control and using each and every circumstance to draw me closer to Him...and if breast cancer does that than how can I ask Him why?
"Not that I speak from want,
for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am."
Philippians 4:11
Key word "learned"...Paul 'learned', I am 'learning'!  God uses interesting processes to teach us.  I continue to learn and be taught...well I'm trying!
Since "Three" is the number today...and "Three" leads to "Four", that leads me to share this:
3 Habits: 4 Minutes: One Love
How to Fall in Love Again in Four Minutes A Day… with just 3 Habits:
It only takes four minutes a day to move into a deeper heart place. Four minutes a day to connect, deepen the communion. Live koinonia.
Who doesn’t want a deeper relationship?
1. Four Focuses
Four times a day focus on the love you vowed. When I leave the marriage bed, leave the front door, when I return to front door, return to marriage bed. These are the four critical archways of time in our day. Touch or whisper a sweet nothing when passing through these gate points, and we walk into hours of closeness. It’s the focus that makes old love fresh love.
2. Four Embraces
Four times a day, embrace. Embrace fully and hold each other’s eyes. That’s all. Repeat four times daily. The one flesh breathes best when the skin pores are close; connected.
3. Four Affirmations
Four times during the day, thank him.
For working faithfully, for hanging up his towel, for putting gas in the van, for making this heart skip a wild beat. Look for the ways to thank him and watch how he moves closer.
I can't tell you how much I wish Tom was here so I could "practice" this great advice.  Tom and I were such advocates for marriage.  Our hearts broke over every broken marriage, wounded marriage and marriages that just tolerated each other.  One of our greatest joys was helping dear friends co-teach/lead an engagement couples class at our church.  It was fun to hear of Zac and Sarah's passion for marriage last night at dinner and their heart to lead and love couples to marriages that honor Christ!  Tom would be so proud...
 
I am thankful for a great week:
Sunday:  Worship with family & dinner at my sister's!  Thanks, Kel...love you!
Monday:  Parent's safety back to Florida!  Surprising Carylee with 50 Birthday roses!
Tuesday:  Special day with a special birthday friend - Carylee!  Thanks, Carylee for a fun day!  Going to Matt's home basketball game & seeing Matt wearing pink breast cancer awareness Nike socks!
Wednesday:  Having the opportunity to take dinner to special friends:  Dusty & Kristin Minthorn!
Thursday:  Medical treatments & opportunity to bring God's light to people I would not otherwise meet!
Friday, Saturday & Sunday:  Meals being brought from special friends!
This week I received a special gift from a special friend: 

Thank You Wendy Rabel Smith!
I love the scripture encouragement cards of God's promises...you are SO sweet.
(Wendy & I went to high school together during our unsaved days, she is also my cousin's cousin!
We went on with life, got saved and reconnected through Facebook this past year!
How awesome it was to hear of her salvation and know we are sisters in Christ!
She and her family live in Iowa. Our "bucket-list" is to get together before heaven!)
Recently a dear friend shared with me that her cousin's daughter was recently (Oct.) diagnosed with GBM.  Their family has started a blog "Observers of God's Grace".  This dear family lives in North Carolina and they love Jesus.  If you want to be blessed by another blog that honors the Lord and pray for this beautiful family (pic above) of seven check it out as you lift them too in prayer:
While reading this blog I learned something that will be helpful for YOU!  I realized I had a setting on this blog that blocked comments from people who didn't have a google account.  Well, I've changed that and anyone who wants to leave a comment can now do that without having to "sign in".  Please know that I love reading your comments and keeping in touch with you.  I read all the comments and look forward to hearing from more of you who have prayed for our family on this journey.

Monday, January 7, 2013

12 Days of Christmas


On the first day of Christmas my cousin Connie sent to me:
An ornament for the tree
On the second day of Christmas my cousin Brenda sent to me:
Lotion & Gel Booties
On the third day of Christmas my Aunt Carol sent to me:
 
A photo album of special memories
On the fourth day of Christmas my cousin Paula sent to me:
 
An insulated mug, tea, socks & courage shell
On the fifth day of Christmas a special friend, Beth Duewel sent to me:
 
Kindred Sisters Book
On the sixth day of Christmas my 5th grade teacher, Mr. Buzzard sent to me:
A bookmark of HOPE
On the seventh day of Christmas the Seiters sent to me:
 
Seven Skin Products to help my Skin
On the eighth day of Christmas my elementary school friend, Kathy sent to me:
 
A Willow Tree Angel
On the ninth day of Christmas my Aunt Carol sent to me:
 
A Pottery Bowl & Soup Mix
On the tenth day of Christmas my cousin Brenda sent to me:
Warm Christmas Jammies
On the eleventh day of Christmas my cousin Paula sent to me:
 A box full of Christmas Candy
On the twelfth day of Christmas my cousin Connie sent to me:
 
A box of Cheryl's Cookies!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU
Aunt Carol, Paula, Connie, Brenda, Beth, Kathy, Mr. Buzzard & Seiters for a fun Christmas Plan!

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Welcome 2013!

Christmas Morning
Many have commented that they miss a blog update...please forgive me for not posting sooner.  With the busy-ness of the holidays, celebrations, parents visiting, along with sinus, sore throat and sadness I have not posted!  This second round of chemo has been much easier on my body, however with the cold and sore throat lingering so long I haven't quite been myself.
I can't begin to describe the hole in my heart I've experienced through Christmas and New Years.  So many voids of Tom and his presence here.  I told the kids on Christmas morning (through tears) that dad would have said "mom puts the 'special' in Christmas" and I told them that "dad put the 'special' in Christmas"...and yet we both knew that 'together' we made Christmas special at the Anglea home.  We were a team.  I said I wasn't sure how to do it alone, but it was an attempt at doing the best I could.  We know that Christ is Who makes our Christmas special and He not only saw us through Christmas, but will see us through all our days as we adjust to life without Tom.
"Now to Him who is able to establish you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery kept secret since the world began but now made manifest, and by the prophetic Scriptures made known to all nations,
according to the commandment of the everlasting God,
for obedience to the faith— to God,
alone wise, be glory through Jesus Christ forever. Amen."
Romans 16:25-27
Even though I miss Tom like crazy and I haven't felt the best...there is SO much to be thankful for.  I am so happy to have had my parents here for almost three weeks...I will experience another huge void once they leave on Monday.  What joy I pondered in my heart as Matt insisted we use dad's Bible to read the Christmas story, and then he read, just as Tom would have.  Having "Granny Rolls" for Christmas morning.  Feeling well enough to go to the Christmas Eve Service.  Children who love and spoil me.  A fire in the fireplace.  Snow.  Zac and Sarah who keep the house alive.  And the list goes on.
Now for the thanks and memories:
 
Beef Stew, Rolls and
 
Cherry Pie...Thank You, Suzanne Homoelle!
A beautiful poinsettia from the Homoelles!
 
Tortellini Soup...Thank You, O'Roarks!
 
Chicken & Noodles, Salad, Homemade Bread and
 
Chocolate Covered Pretzels...Thank You, Anne Marie Weakley & family!

4 Generations of Love
Granny, Emily, Annie Grace & Kelly
Traditional "Welcome to the Family" Sweater & Dickie!
What a good sport Andrew!!!
Sisters
Cheryl, Lisa & Kelly
 Cousins
 
Celebrating Declan's 1st Birthday!
 
His Lion Cake!  Good Job Brittany...so cute!
 
Big Papa & GG with "greats" Declan & Annie Grace
 
Thank You, Jan Young for your sweet gifts, prayer & encouragement!
 
Thank You, Harmon Family for a fun visit & warm, snuggie socks!
 
Thank You, Marylou & Susan Goldman for the yummy banana bread!
 
Thank You, Margaret Paparella for the tea, pizzelles, CD and
 
Struffoli (Tiny Honey Balls) an Italian Christmas delight!