Identity

I'm not sure where to start...

Since October 12th when Tom's obituary was in the newspaper, I've had five credit card companies call regarding Tom's recent application for credit!

Yep...identity fraud!

How low can people get?

One conversation:

Credit Card Rep: May I speak with Tom Anglea?

Me: I'm sorry, he recently passed away.

Credit Card Rep: It is our policy to speak with Mr. Anglea in person.

Me: I'm not sure you heard me, but he died on Oct. 12th!

Credit Card Rep: I'm sorry...

After many hours on the phone getting things straightened out, a lot of frustration and filing a police report, God finally revealed and reminded me this morning the truth about identity!

"For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you,

leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps,

who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth;

and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering,

He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously;

and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross,

so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness;

for by His wounds you were healed."

I Peter 2:21-24

When Jesus "bore my sins" on the cross, He identified with me. He did not sympathize with me, He understood what sin was. People who have not lost a spouse cannot identify with me, they sympathize with me (well I think they do!). How does Jesus want me to respond to people who can't identify with me? The same way I would want others who I can't identify with...forgiveness.

"Now all these things are from God,

who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation,

namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself,

not counting their trespasses against them,

and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation."

II Corinthians 5:18-19

What does it mean to reconcile?

verb (used with object)

1. to cause (a person) to accept or be resigned to something not desired:

2.to win over to friendliness; cause to become amicable:

3.to compose or settle (a quarrel, dispute, etc.).

4.to bring into agreement harmony; make compatible or consistent:

So often we want everyone to understand us or how we feel...it's impossible. God is the only One Who can truly understand us or our feelings because He identified with us on the cross. I have had many moments (okay...days, not moments) of why can't people understand? Especially the person who filled out applications in Tom's name for credit! God continues to be patient with me and I'm realizing the ball continues to be in "my court" when it comes to forgiveness. Can I just be honest here...I don't want the ball! I keep passing it to others who continue to drop it! I'm wondering now how many times people have "passed" me the ball and I've dropped it! It truly is a misconception that people should understand...they don't...and I'm realizing I'm putting high expectations on people.

Now to all my amazing friends and family who have understood...I love you!

This past week I'm thankful for:

-a friend called because "God prompted her" and we were able to enjoy a walk in the beauty of the last days of an Indian summer!...Thanks, Chris!

-a friend pampered me for a day - lunch on the patio, mani/pedi, and ice cream cones to top off a perfect day!

Royal Treatment...Thank You, Ginny (& Tom)

 

-God coordinating an impromptu visit with a dear sister at the grocery store!...Love you, Wendy!

-exercising with sweet sisters...easing me back into shape!...Thank you, Jen & Beth!

-Sarah and Zac putting up with me each day and encouraging me on this journey!

-seeing Matt play well in an inter-squad scrimmage!

-dinner out and hours of conversation with a dear friend!...Love & Thanks, Carylee!

-sitting with a friend (who's husband is in Afghanistan) in church...He reminds me I'm never alone!

-my sister stopping by to check on me!...Thanks, Kelly!

I've literally been "working" on this blog all day...and as this day comes to a close, the wind and rain from Hurricane Sandy howls and swirls outside and I sip my peppermint tea and nurse a sore throat and the aches in my body. I am reminded that God kept me well for 19 months in order to take care of Tom...I am thankful.

Oh yeah...what person wouldn't want Tom's identity? But more importantly...we should all be striving for Christ's identity.

Prayer Request:

This weekend Sarah, Zac & I will be traveling up to Mt. Vernon for Matt's basketball tournament. His team will play Friday and Saturday. Since it is both Tom's 50th birthday and Matt's 21st birthday we have decided to make it a special weekend and get rooms at a bed & breakfast in Mt. Vernon. It will be hard for us all as our memories always include celebrating together...one very important birthday "boy" won't be there. I had a meltdown as I was card shopping for Matt...most of the 'Son' cards were phrased, "To Our Son"...then the memories of Tom & I shopping for our anniversary cards overwhelmed me. These floods of emotion hit me hard and my heart continues to ache, no one but the Heavenly Father knows exactly how I feel. I am SO thankful He identifies with me!

Loss

I remember telling my sister that Tom isn't lost because I know right where he is!  However, I'm feeling lost because I can't get to him right now.  It's so hard for my tiny brain to go back 28+ years to my life before Tom...I guess I really don't want to.  It's like picturing my life without Christ...I don't want to.  Tom and I were "one flesh" and my flesh has been ripped open...they say time heals...hard to imagine ever healing from this kind of flesh wound.  I'm not sure I want to heal...I don't want to forget the warmth, care, comfort, love, strength, security and did I mention love?  All that Tom brought to my life...gone...except for the bond that held us...Christ.  I guess I'm continuing to realize how much I still need Him, Christ.  I thought I needed Him through Tom's illness...I'm needing Him even more now.  I find it only "like God" to have Ann Voskamp write a recent blog "How to Handle Losses"...here are a few lines that pricked my soul:

As Sarah, Zac and I raked leaves Sunday afternoon this really hit me:

"...the way the trees made dying look glorious."

 

It’s Biblical — let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

But just because He allows everything to,

doesn’t mean most everyone takes Him up on the offer.

Is it robbery for everything that has breath

to take oxygen from His world and not praise the Lord?

Who am I to complain in losses — when what I lost wasn’t mine to begin with?

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return.
The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away;
blessed be the name of the Lord.”

Job 1:20-21

 When thanksgiving is your default — the enemy gets his defeat.

You defeat your dark when thanksgiving is your default.

Anything I have, I don’t deserve.

Everything I have isn’t a given — it’s given.

Nothing is a given — everything’s a gift.

Who am I to complain in losses when what I lost wasn’t mine to begin with?

-Ann Voskamp, A Holy Experience

 

Tom was a gift from God.

 

Lord, help me not to complain of Your perfect plan.

I pray that today I will not rob You of the praise that is due You.

Help me defeat the enemy by making thanksgiving my default.

Thank you for caring for Tom in my absence.

Until I meet You...

 

Yesterday I met with our (I will continue to use this term "our", because it's what is natural for me, nothing is mine) financial planner.  I have a long list of "to do's"...hard things for me.  But, just like God...I was on the phone with the nurse at Matt's college (MVNU), as we finished our conversation about student health coverage she asked if she could pray with me!  It is the first...my heart melted and I said "of course"...of many phone calls, many people offering "condolences", but this was the first offer for sweet communion with The One Who really cares...it meant more than she could know!

 

P.S. - Happy Birthday, sweet 16...Cherith Lynn!

I love you, Cherith

 



Do You Know HIM?

I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my sister-in-love comment on a Facebook article that Matt wrote!  God is doing great things in Matt...I am so proud of him.
Here is his article:

This was a question that one of my teachers (professors) asked in an essay that we had to write for class. It hit home with me, hopefully it will with you too.

1. What does it mean when a person dies? In other words, what do you tell yourself has happened to that person? What future does that person have?

This question has hit home with me due to the recent death of my father. It is a very tough question to ask myself because no one likes the reality of death. When a person dies, their spiritual body is taken from this world and their earthly body, or what I would like to call “shell”, remains on this earth. The earthly shell or body is buried into the ground but the person’s spirit or spiritual body is taken into eternal life. Eternal life, which is clearly talked about in God’s Word is a very serious matter. Those who have accepted Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior will go to eternal glory and be in heaven with Jesus. Those who have not accepted Jesus as their personal Lord and savior will be cast into Hell and the eternal lake of fire. It is very hard for me to grasp “eternity”, let alone spending eternity in Hell. As I think about my father and his life on this earth, the suffering that he had as he fought brain cancer was completely healed when God allowed him to take his final breath. The perfect eternal body that he has in heaven is a wonderful truth that I hold onto. Although it is difficult losing my dad, knowing that he is in heaven with Jesus is so comforting to know. My dad’s funeral was the first one that I have been too. I honestly hate the word “funeral”; I prefer to use the word “Celebration”. I love using the word celebration because that is what is going on in heaven now and that is what heaven was doing when my dad got there. It is a celebration because my dad has been made new and is just like Christ. The whole purpose of life on this earth is to become more like Christ and my dad strived to be like Christ every day. He is now experiencing this first hand in heaven. It is because of Christ’s love for us that He sent his only Son to give us hope for eternity. We as humans are unable to know the future but when we give our life to Christ, we can be assured of our future. A future that is perfect and will last all of eternity; a future that is spent with Christ; and a future where fellow believers will be one with each other. Do you have this hope? Although it is very tough at times not being able to be with my dad here on this earth, I know that I will see him again one day and this is because of my trust and belief in my personal Savior, Jesus Christ. Do you know HIM?

Oh...and for those of you who couldn't be at Tom's Celebration service...here is a copy of the program that turned out awesome.  "Thank You" Tyler Mitchell for your awesome work to make this happen!

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Inside

Requests

It's been a week...life continues...I've been riding the wave of "the after"...
Many family and friends have asked..."Will you continue to blog?"....I'm not sure I know how to stop.  The topic is still God, but my reason for blogging is with God.  This knowledge is what gives me the strength to carry on. 

"The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped;
Therefore my heart exults,
And with my song I shall thank Him."

Psalm 28:7

The other request is to share here what Sarah and I shared at Tom's celebration service.  I will start with Sarah's tribute:

 

"I count it a true privilege to call Tom Anglea my Dad.  Most of you have experienced my dad's love in some sort of fashion whether you're family, a friend, through school, church, sports, college, growing up, or maybe even from a random setting.  Whether you know my dad as husband, son, brother, cousin, uncle, friend, principal, coworker, coach or acquaintance or friend of a friend I can honestly say that having Tom Anglea as a dad is like none other.

Matt and I consider it a true blessing to have been raised by such a godly father.  From the moment we can remember he loved us and Jesus with everything he could.

I would like to take a walk down memory lane to laugh and share with you a few of the many ways my dad loved us as kids...

Matt and I have many fond childhood memories which include walking to the elementary school and swinging on the 'big swings' as dad would push us and do underdogs - code for pushing us high in the air and running under us!  We would play out in the yard together, many times helping with family chores.  Dad invented a game called 'Sleep Monster' where he would lay on the floor with his eyes shut and then we would walk around him in circles waiting for the 'Sleep Monster' to wake up and get us!  As kids, we had the superhero dad...he did it all, made us laugh, and we thought he was the coolest!

The teenage years brought a dad who supported us even more in whatever we were doing:  baseball, basketball, tennis, piano...it didn't matter what, he was there and cheering us on.  Of course on the car ride home he always had his advice as to what we could have done better...he saw every moment as a learning moment!

I remember in high school receiving a bouquet of roses, completely shocked because I didn't have a boyfriend...sure enough my dad remembered me complaining about how I didn't like Valentine's Day because I wasn't in a relationship.  That surprise meant so much to me.  Matt and I rode to high school with dad in the Bonneville.  Those mornings to school were some of the best 'talks' and times together that we had.  We loved having him as our principal too...many special memories.

And finally the college and adult years.  Dad was still our hero, the guy we looked up to, the person we called with many questions, and the one who was proud of us no matter what.  But through all the memories and all the cherished times together dad taught us a few simple things through his life.  He loved mom and was committed to her for life.  He lived out what a covenant relationship looked like, and modeled for us what we both wanted/want in a spouse.  Dad also lived life with a purpose...he deeply cared about people.  The joy of the Lord was evident in his character, wisdom and personality.  Everyone loved Tom Anglea and Tom Anglea loved everyone.

Most importantly Matt and I were encouraged and supported each step of the way through life.  My dad told me that he loved me and how beautiful I was.  He told Matt that he loved him and was proud of him.  Dad had a special way of equipping us with the confidence of Christ.  The love that dad showed us was straight from the Heavenly Father.  I am thankful that through each memory and cherished time we spent together dad's love was representing an even greater love...the love of Jesus.  For the 24 years that I knew dad, his love as and earthly father was pointing me to my ultimate Heavenly Father whose love is freely given to those who trust in Jesus Christ.

Growing up my parents taught us a song entitled 'My Lord Knows the Way Through the Wilderness' the lyrics go:  "My Lord knows the way through the wilderness, all I have to do is follow".  This song in a lot of ways represents exactly what my dad did throughout his entire life:  followed Jesus.  Even after surgery when dad couldn't speak we began to sing this song and dad joined in with us!  The joy of Jesus was carried out in every aspect of dad's life.  I am thankful to have had the dad God gave me.  While we will miss him greatly here on this earth, I am even more thankful that we have a Heavenly Father who promises eternal life with Jesus forever.  I pray that the love that you have seen in my dad can point you to Jesus, the Ultimate Lover and Father."

 

Now my turn:

 

"Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

I Thessalonians 5:16-18

I HAVE LEARNED OVER THE PAST 19 MONTHS HOW TO “GIVE THANKS” IN EVERYTHING…IT HAS TRANSFORMED MY LIFE.  I STAND HERE TODAY BECAUSE MY “LIFE COACH” RECENTLY CHALLENGED ME TO WHAT I AM DOING THIS VERY MOMENT…SAYING “THANK YOU” TO YOU IN PERSON AND NOT FROM BEHIND THE COMFORT OF MY COMPUTER SCREEN!

(LOOK UP) “I’M OBEYING!”

TOM, MATT, SARAH, ZAC AND I COULD NOT HAVE BATTLED THESE  MONTHS WITHOUT YOU.  THANK YOU FOR WALKING, PRAYING, SUPPORTING AND LOVING US THROUGH TOM’S TOUGHEST LIFE PRACTICE.  I REALIZE THESE NEXT DAYS AND WEEKS OF OUR LIFE PRACTICE WILL BE THE MOST CHALLENGING AS WE LEARN NEW PLAYS WITHOUT OUR BEST PLAYER, MY HUSBAND, THEIR FATHER, ON OUR EARTH TEAM.  WE NEED YOU, AS OUR ROLES AND POSITIONS CHANGE.  THE HEAD COACH HAS CALLED UP ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING EARTH PLAYERS TO THE REAL GAME.  TOM PRACTICED WELL AND WAS READY FOR THE COACH’S CALL.  AS WE COME INTO THE HUDDLE OR REST ON THE BENCH WE WILL FEEL AN ENORMOUS VOID. 

TOM’S GREATEST CONCERN, ALONG WITH US, IS…ARE YOU ON “OUR TEAM”?  IF NOT, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?  IT’S THE WINNING TEAM.  NO TRY OUTS OR ABILITY ARE REQUIRED, JUST A WILLINGNESS TO BELIEVE IN “THE COACH” WHO SENT HIS ULTIMATE PLAYER TO SACRIFICE “REAL PLAYING TIME” TO VISIT US “EARTH PLAYERS” SO HE COULD PAY THE PENALTY FOR OUR ERRS.  HE HAS GIVEN US A PLAY BOOK TO TELL US THE DETAILS OF JOINING HIS TEAM IF YOU’RE NOT SURE WHERE TO GO OR WHAT TO DO.  THERE ARE PLAY BOOKS ALL OVER THIS WORLD, GRAB ONE, READ IT AND JOIN US.  IF YOU ARE ALREADY ON THE TEAM…ARE YOU LEARNING THE PLAYS?  HE SENT US THE GREATEST EXAMPLE SO WE COULD PLAY IN A WAY THAT WOULD TAKE US TO THE VICTORY CELEBRATION OF ALL TIME!  YOU CAN READ HIS STORY IN THE PLAY BOOK.

ONCE AGAIN, TOM WINS…

(LOOK UP) “HONEY, YOU BEAT ME AT EVERYTHING (LATELY, SKIPBO)…HOW COULD I NOT KNOW YOU’D BEAT ME TO THE ULTIMATE VICTORY?  SAVE ME A PLACE AT THE PARTY.  I CAN’T WAIT TO BE WHOLE, COMPLETE AND IN THE PRESENCE OF OUR LIFE’S PERFECT COACH WITH YOU.”

UNTIL THEN…

THE GAME PRACTICE CONTINUES HERE ON EARTH.  WE PRAY THAT AS TOM ENJOYS PLAYING THE REAL GAME WITH A FULLY FUNCTIONING PERFECT BODY FOR A PERFECT COACH IN A PERFECT GAME WITH NO ERRORS, FOULS, STEALS, PENALTIES OR OUTS, THAT YOU WOULD JOIN OUR TEAM IN PREPARATION FOR THE “BIG GAME”. 

 

For those of you who were able to join us at the celebration service we say "thank you".  What an enormous outpouring of love and kindness shown to us.  I am just so sorry that I couldn't greet, hug and thank each one of you personally for your role in our lives.  I truly believe I would still be standing in line greeting each of you!

I continue to "Choose Joy" because I know that's what my Jesus and Tom would want me to do...

Home Free

J. Thomas Anglea, 49, went peacefully to be with his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ on Wednesday, October 10, 2012.  Tom bravely battled brain cancer for the past 19 months, and peacefully departed this temporary life while at the Kobacker House surrounded by family. Tom’s life was committed to Jesus, and his family cherishes the memories of his faithful love for all, which was rooted in Jesus’ faithful love for him.  Tom would want us to remember the assurance given by knowing Jesus, and to live, trust and rest in Him.  Tom was born on November 3, 1962 and raised in College Park, GA.  He graduated from Westwood High School in 1980 and then attended Bryan College in Dayton, TN where he graduated with honors in 1984.  He began his teaching career at Worthington Christian High School as an Algebra I and Geometry teacher.  Tom served as the Principal of Worthington Christian High School for the past 18 years.  He is survived by his loving wife of 27 years, Lisa; daughter, Sarah (Zac) Hess, and son, Matthew; godly parents, Robert & Amanda Anglea; brothers, Terry (Joyce) Anglea & Tim (Julie) Anglea, parents-in-love, Lowell (Barbara) Kline; Brothers & Sisters-in-love, Terry (Kelly) Herbst; Mike (Cheryl) Kline, many uncles, aunts, cousins, nieces, nephews, great nieces & nephews.  He was an active member & deacon at Grace Polaris Church for the past 28 years.  A Celebration of Life Service will be held at 10:00 a.m. on Saturday, October 13, 2012 at Grace Polaris Church, 8225 Worthington-Galena Rd., Westerville, Ohio to honor a life well lived.  Private family interment.  In lieu of flowers, please make donations to:  The "Tom Anglea Memorial" funds to be allocated to Worthington Christian Schools Warrior Fund - Facilities for capital campaign.  Mail checks to:  WCS, 6670 Worthington-Galena Rd., Worthington, Ohio 43085

Vegetables...

To blog or not to blog...decisions...
Last Sunday I posted about worshiping from the recliner at Tom's bedside...
Today I realize it's been three weeks since Tom has had any food of substance...
Hard to imagine for us Americans who enjoy three square meals a day and then some sweets or snacks to tie us over between or put us to bed at night!

Tom loved a bowl of ice cream or a milkshake before bed...not any more.
Since we're talking about food...
Many of us are familiar with Daniel who kept a steady diet of the kings choicest vegetables and remained stronger and healthier than his counterparts:

"At the end of ten days their appearance seemed better

and they were fatter than all the youths who had been eating the king’s choice food.

So the overseer continued to withhold their choice food and the wine they were to drink,

and kept giving them vegetables.  As for these four youths,

God gave them knowledge and intelligence in every branch of literature and wisdom;

Daniel even understood all kinds of visions and dreams."

Daniel 1:15-17

I love vegetables...
Well, most vegetables...I'm sure there are many I haven't tried yet...and some I've had that I don't want to ever have again...but for the most part I think I could be a vegetarian.
We Americans have come to label those who have become unable to breathe, eat, etc. on their own as "vegetables"...I'm thinking Tom is almost a vegetable...I LOVE this vegetable...no matter how you slice, dice, cook, steam or prepare him...he's the BEST veggie around!
Maybe this sounds sick...it's the way my weird brain works now...
Maybe it's the three weeks of sitting and watching, waiting, pleading, praying and wondering...
Why?
Never imagined it this way...
The last few days have really declined for Tom.  He is no longer communicating with us.  He is no longer opening his eyes.  He is sleeping.  Quietly breathing...sometimes steady, other times irregularly.  Now that he is here at the Kobacker House the nurses and aides have taken most of the care taking from me.  I still enjoy giving him his shave, brushing his teeth and today I even clipped his fingernails.  I try to believe that he preferred my care over the wonderful nurses and aides here.  We used to joke, at home, that if Tom wasn't ever satisfied with how I cared for him I could call an agency that would provide that service!  He quickly would tell me what an amazing job I was doing!
Back to vegetables and little children...
I am missing my niece's baby shower today...
I am torn...to go or to stay at Tom's side...decisions.
I'm staying at Tom's side and thinking about how life goes on outside of these walls.
The cycle of life...
Babies born...people slip into eternity.
We've watched lives come and go here...the people who work here have a special gift from their Maker to sustain them through the last earthly days of those who enter here.

When our children were little we enjoyed watching Veggie Tales videos with them and learning God's truth through simple stories.  I'm thinking Tom has always looked more like Larry the Cucumber...these days he's beginning to look more like Junior Asparagus!

Choosing Joy in the garden of life...
Lisa
I may lose some readers after this post!

His Eye Is On the Sparrow

Two weeks ago today Tom was moved into the Kobacker House.  When Tom was settled into his room Sarah commented on the wonderful bird feeder, just outside the window, and said, "God has dad under His wing".

For You have been a refuge for me,
A tower of strength against the enemy.

Let me dwell in Your tent forever;
Let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings.

For You have heard my vows, O God;
You have given me the inheritance of those who fear Your name.

Psalm 61:3-5

 

Today a dear friend sent me the lyrics of an old hymn to encourage me:

 

Children of the Heavenly Father
Safely in His bosom gather
Nestling bird nor star in heaven
Such a refuge e'er was given...

God His own doth tend and nourish
In His holy courts they flourish
From all evil things He spares them
In His mighty arms He bears them

Neither life nor death shall ever
From the Lord His children sever
Unto them His grace He showeth
And their sorrows all He knoweth

Though He giveth or He taketh
God His children ne'er forsaketh
His the loving purpose solely
To preserve them pure and holy

Lo their very hairs He numbers
And no daily care encumbers
Them that share His ev'ry blessing
And His help in woes distressing

Praise the Lord in joyful numbers
Your Protector never slumbers
At the will of your Defender
Ev'ry foe man must surrender.

Children of the Heavenly Father
Safely in His bosom gather
Nestling bird nor star in heaven
Such a refuge e'er was given

 

Today upon our arrival to Tom's room my sister-in-love, Cheryl, noticed a small sparrow "sleeping" with his head tucked under his wing on Tom's patio.  We kept an eye on the little guy and later noticed he had taken his last breath.  With tears of sadness we realized God knew that today would be the sparrow's last day to flutter here on earth just as God knows when Tom's last breath will be.  As hard as this has been we continue to trust God for His perfect plan and timing.