Life is a Gift

If you don’t take it all as gift, you end up taking it all for granted —

which amounts to not taking anything good from life at all.

A head can think otherwise but somehow a heart can feel wiser.

You can cut umbilical cords but you can’t cut heart strings.

The best way to prepare for what’s ahead is to be present to what is now.

Be present to the gift of now.

-Ann Voskamp, A Holy Experience

I'm not sure where to begin...I spent 22 out of 30 days of April in the hospital!  I'm still in shock at what all has happened and my mind spins at the thought of it all.  Believe me when I say I've had my share of "wrestling matches" with God.  I've gone from, "Lord, take me now" to "Lord, Your will be done" to "Lord, why me?" to "Lord, what have I to learn yet?".  I've come to the point where I'm flat on my back (hands tied behind my back!) and completely helpless.  I've come to realize in all I've been through I still have so much to be thankful for:  eyes that see, wobbly legs still get me where I need (sometimes not fast enough), hands to praise and use, ears to hear His still small voice and the wise counsel of others.  Not one night did I have to spend alone, between Cheryl, Kelly, Sarah, Carylee & Ginny they kept the couch warm and my heart at ease knowing they were there...I am blessed. 

Someone once defined worry as:

"a small trickle of fear that meanders through the mind, cutting a channel into which all other thoughts flow."

Knowing these women were a whisper away at night helped me keep that "cutting" to a minimum.

Not only did I have family and friends to push me through the difficult days but also my "J-team" who all three sister's-in-the-Lord, work at OSU Medical Center, continually brought encouragement and straight talk when I needed it most:  Janice Akers, Janice Whitmire & Julie Mitchell.

Janice A. makes things happen, batting for me at every turn and then encouraging me with:

 

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you.”— Isaiah 41:10

Whenever I think of God’s faithfulness in the midst of suffering, I am reminded of my dear late friend Corrie ten Boom, the remarkable Dutch woman who, with her family, hid Jews from the Nazis. After being imprisoned in the infamous concentration camp Ravensbruk, Corrie traveled the world telling her story of suffering, forgiveness, and joy.

For thirty-five years she never had a permanent home, but when she was eighty-five and in declining health, some friends provided her with a lovely house in California. It was a luxury she never dreamed she would have (and one she never would have pursued on her own).

One day her friend, the late movie director James Collier, was visiting. He said, “Corrie, hasn’t God been good to give you this beautiful house?”

She replied firmly, “Jimmy, God was good when I was in Ravensbruk too!”

Most of us will never experience the horrors Corrie knew. But no matter what we face, we can depend on God’s promise: “Fear not, for I am with you.”

Janice W. made it clear to me that "the wheel" I'm on consists of 5 spokes: Tom, Lisa, Matt, Sarah & Zac.  We roll smoothly because Jesus is the Center of our wheel.  I understood that while Tom was sick he deserved the kindnesses of others because his life was such a reflection of Christ...me, not so much (very poor self-esteem at this point in my hospital stay).  Only as sweet as Janice can say:  Lisa, it's not about YOU!  My lack of health had brought me to a focus all on me.
From "The Red Sea Rules" by Robert J. Morgan:

First, He brought me here , by His will that I am in this strait place: in that fact I will rest.

Next, He will keep me here in His love, and give me grace to behave as a child.

Then, He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends me to learn, and working in me the grace He means to bestow.

Last, in His good time He can bring me out again - how and when He knows.

Julie (my therapist!) made it so simple for me, from one line in a Christmas Carol, "O Holy Night":

"Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth."

Julie shot straight with me that this world in sin and error doesn't feel Christ's worth in their lives.  That was me.  I know who I am in Christ...I just needed that nudging reminder of allowing God's Spirit to infuse me with HIS worth!  This is all so much easier on the side of feeling better and being at home!  Without these precious women in my life I'm sure I'd still be wallowing in the stench of myself.

All the events of April are blurry to me...from complete heart block, a pacemaker, a lead revision, a cardio version, port removal and fluid on my lungs is quite a bit to go through for God to get my attention!  I'm praying that the fluid that remains with eventually reabsorb into my body, no more fluid will reappear and that through this busy month of May I will be able to share God's grace in all my doctor appointments and make the important events on my calendar a reality.

Thank you for your continued prayers on my behalf.  The doctors tell me that time and rest are my best friends.

Thank You Kent & Sally Johnson!

Thank You Di Coughlin!

Fresh Cut Spring Flowers from Julie Mitchell's backyard...Thank you, Julie!

Beachy, Peachy Roses...Thank You, Rick & Tammy Nuzum!

Thank You Sweet Friends!

So thankful for nice weather to get outside with Matt & Sarah...

tears came when they rolled me back in!

Cheryl & Lauren took me out on another beautiful day...

Congratulations to Tim & Lauren on their announcement

of their first child due around Tom's birthday!

I cried this day too as they wheeled me back to my "cell"!

Thank You Cindy Dunn for my special birdie!

Thank You Anonymous Friend!

Thank You Chris Grant for the seeds for my garden!

Thank You Linda Heimann!

 

My Goal:

Being more concerned for God's glory than my relief!

 

Last night I had the awesome privilege to go to my nephew, Zac's, tennis match.  What a gorgeous day for tennis.  As I sat there I thought...so this is what a normal life is like!

Aunt Lisa & Zac

After the match, Terry, Kelly, Zac & I enjoyed a wonderful meal together at Ruby Tuesdays!