Work of Words

"To see it on the calendar, this week appears all innocence and grace.

Seven days lined up in a row, neatly strung together by mornings and evenings,

full of expectation and promise."

-Hannah, "Sometimes A Light" blogger

To be totally honest...I didn't see the week as 'innocence and grace', but I loved how she put the week into an eloquent work of words.  I haven't had a lot of 'expectation and promise' and that's my fault.  Remember just a few blogs ago I wrote about vision...how quickly my vision is skewed, I forget that expectation and promise are WHO I am looking to and not what's written, or not written, on my calendar.  Hannah went on to blog:

"Little did I realize that it was a malevolent beast waiting to pounce and wreak havoc on my simple, easy life."

Julie Mitchell, RN...she was Tom's nurse, now mine!

Yep, a malevolent beast pounced on me last Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday and wreaked havoc on my crazy, complex week...not only affecting (or is it effecting) me...but many others like Sarah, Zac and Julie Mitchell, RN extraordinaire.  To make a long, dramatic story short, I ended up in the ER at OSU!  I was dehydrated and they wouldn't let me leave after two liters of IV fluid...I had to wait for four!  My blood pressure dropped to 80/40 and I tried to explain to them that I was on HIGH blood pressure medication since Tom's "graduation" just 4 short, but very long, months ago!  I couldn't believe they were "holding" me there until my blood pressure went up!  I can't sing the praises of Zac, Sarah and Julie enough, for their quick responses, over-and-above-attention and just being there for me in my time of need.  (Thankful I wasn't home alone at the time)

Florida with Kent & Suzanne Homoelle

As I mentioned, yesterday marked Tom's 4th month of "real life" and I continue to struggle.  As Suzanne Homoelle and I sat down to dinner at Panera last night, I looked at my watch at 6:30 and vividly remembered watching Tom take his last earthly breath, exactly four months ago to the minute.  A memory never to be forgotten.  I am so thankful for friends and family who continue to walk this journey of pain with me and help me through this process.  I've never walked a path like this and the "terrain" is rough.  Thank you for bearing with me through the tears and ramblings of a broken heart....I love you, Suzanne!

Mike, Cheryl, Lisa & Tom in Florida

There continue to be rays of God's sunshine on my journey...one being a VICTORY for the MVNU Cougars last Saturday against Marian University!  What fun it was to celebrate with Matt and to have Mike, Cheryl, Braden and Morgan join us at our Mt. Vernon "hot spot" to enjoy fellowship together after the game.  Mike and Cheryl continue to put their shoulders down for me to cry and lean on, time after time.  Already both of them have committed to be here for me that first week of March when I have surgery.  I love my family!

Our Last Florida Trip

As I think of the quote above, "expectation and promise", that is what awaits me on Monday, February 18th as I head south to Florida!  I can hardly contain myself thinking about the "get-away" opportunity I have.  But I must be straightforward, I've already cried my way through breakfast and even as I type, thinking of going to Florida without Tom is almost unbearable.  The majority of Florida memories are with Tom...I didn't realize making new memories would be so hard.  Tom and I always said, "the anticipation of a get-away is half the fun"...bittersweet anticipation.

Lisa, Tom, Kelly & Terry - Nokomis Grove, Florida

Many of you are wondering how my doctor's appointments went last Tuesday...well, long! I am SO thankful for my sister going with me. Not only has she been there all through Tom's illness, she now has been with me every step of my journey.  Her strength, wisdom, love and guidance have been a God-send.  I am so proud when doctor's come in to meet me and I can introduce them to Kelly!  She listens with ears of retention and can ask smart questions.  I can't thank God enough for blessing me with a sister...Thanks, Kel...Love you.  So the appointments...confusing, yet enlightening.  The radiologist wants to keep my "options" open to possible radiation (post-surgery) once we get the pathology report back (about a week after surgery) so I'm not making any major reconstruction decisions until then.  The risks are high for me with radiation, so we wait and see.  The plastic surgeon was great...I really liked him.  He made everything very clear and we came up with a surgery plan.  Instead of a double mastectomy I will just be having a single.  There are many reasons why I have changed my mind (I am a woman so I have that prerogative, right?!)  Basically I am cutting my risks in half!  Many more decisions will have to be made once the pathology report comes back.  So, the biggest need is for clarity from that report...pray!  This "next phase" will take about six months...healing, possible reconstruction, healing, etc.  Surgery is confirmed (no time yet) for March 6th, with hopefully just an overnight in the hospital.  I am thankful that my mom will be here to help me through the home recovery stage.

"My eyes fail with longing for Your salvation
And for Your righteous word."

Psalm 119:123

Thank You, Jill Petrel for dinner Tuesday evening after a long day of doctor appointments!

Baked Chicken, Rice, Green Beans, Bread &

Berry Pie!

This week brought an array of cards/gifts in the mail...

Thank You to Patti Sweigard for the Valentine cookie!

Thank You to Dave & Linda Scott for the generous Panera gift card & note of encouragement!

It's tax season...I need HELP!

Help arrived, just like last year, through Sarah Fudge!

Thank You, Sarah for helping, loving & caring...not just in preparing our taxes,

BUT for praying with and for me!

 

"I will bless the Lord at all times;
His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul will make its boast in the Lord;
The humble will hear it and rejoice.
O magnify the Lord with me,
And let us exalt His name together."

Psalm 34:1-3