Father's Day...Just Not the Same

Tom's "pride & joy"...Addy Grace

Saturday evening The Engleharts invited us (Papa, Granny, Sarah, Zac, Addy & me) to their beautiful home for fellowship, fishing, food and fun.  As Ginny and mom prepared food, papa fished (Zac & Sarah hadn't arrived yet) I had alone time with God on the dock.  He grabbed my heart as I was lamenting the fact that Sarah and Matt didn't have a dad (in person) to celebrate this Sunday...then He touched me and said, "Tom is celebrating his first Father's Day with his Heavenly Father...it's okay".  With eyes filled with tears I gave thanks for the many years Sarah and Matt did have an amazing earthly father to celebrate and honor.  I am thankful that Tom is having the best Father's Day ever!  Tom would agree that it was never about him, but about Jesus...our real Father.  Addy sure had fun romping in the water, chasing the ducks and running in the country...I know Tom would have enjoyed seeing her have such a great time.

One of many large mouth bass Papa caught!

 I'm so thankful that my parents are here and we can celebrate Father's Day with my dad.

Sarah & Zac enjoy the canoe

Libby & Addy share a bed in exhaustion...not sure Libby was into sharing her bed!

What a fun evening we had ending with a round of Hand & Foot...thank you, Ginny for your generous hospitality!

For Father's Day:

"For His precious children, He serves as both Guard and Guide.

He both precedes us and protects us.

He is simultaneously our Shepherd and Shield.

He is Alpha and Omega, the first and the last, the One Who goes before,

guiding into the future, and the One Who goes behind, gathering up our debris,

our failures, and our poor attempts at ministry,

blessing us and leaving a blessing behind us for others."

 

"After my father's passing, my mother struggled pitifully with loneliness.  There was little anyone could do for it.  Her rambling mountain house seemed desolate, haunted with memories of a vanished hand and a silenced voice.  But she was a sturdy woman with an unusual streak of determination, and as time passed, she began to discover some of the benefits of living alone, such as God's presence."

The Red Sea Rules

by Robert J. Morgan



I'm not sure how long the above "time" was...
I'm not sure anyone would call me "sturdy"...I feel very frail...
I'm not sure if I have a "streak of determination"...
I'm thankful that I have not had to "learn the benefits of living alone" (without Zac & Sarah)...

...that day is coming

BUT...I pray that I will practice the presence of Jesus and never truly feel alone!

As I think of my parents leaving on Monday, to return to their home in Florida, I can become quite sad.  I'm choosing to be happy for them (they have been gone for over a month!) and choosing to be thankful for all they have done here for me and with me!  I know 'life must move on' so I press on with Jesus on this journey He has me on...thanking Him and releasing what He calls me to release to His perfect plan...it's not easy.

Kelly, Mom & Me at the Papaya Street Grill

"Girls Night Out"

I'm going out in "public" more and more without my wig...with the warmer weather,

it's just too hot!  I really feel uncomfortable around people I know...vanity, oh vanity...

it's just that my hair grows SO slow!  I don't think too much about it until I catch a glimpse of myself, see my shadow or see a reflection and then I think, "who's that man?"!!

 

"But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers,

then you are illegitimate children and not sons.  Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live?

For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good,

so that we may share His holiness."

Hebrews 12-8-10

Joy

"How can grace get a hold of you when the past won’t let go of you?
How do you leave a legacy different than the one you’ve been left?
That’s what I’ve got to gnaw through to.
If you don’t fight for joy, it’s your children who lose.
What do I want my children to remember — my joy in clean floors, made beds and ironed shirts — or my joy of the Lord?
You will be most remembered — by what brought you most joy.
The joy of the Lord is your strength and the person of Christ is your unassailable joy –
and the battle for joy is nothing less than fighting the good fight of faith."

-Ann Voskamp

Yesterday marked Tom's 8th month in heaven...I still can't grasp all that means, other than I continue to miss him like crazy.  The above quote has stirred my heart...how do I let go of the past that makes me who I am today?  Is this my legacy?  I am fighting for joy...it's a fight.  I want my children to remember me for my "joy of the Lord" and not the sadness of loneliness (or a clean house).  I have to constantly remember that the Lord is my strength and my joy.  It was while visiting with my cousin last week...I shared with her: "accepting the 'legacy' God has given us is allowing Him to be God."  I realize how often I want to be God...is my plan better than His?  Hardly...

Mr. & Mrs. Andrew Jeunnette

June 1, 2013

 

There are so many praises to share and yet, still prayer request too.  My heart is full, my lungs are not!  The last time I went into have my lungs tapped there was not enough fluid to drain!  Thank you for praying.

Dad & Mom (aka...papa & granny)

My parents arrived safely from Florida last Thursday.  What an amazing weekend we had celebrating my niece's wedding and my nephew's graduation.

The Beautiful Bride...Erin

The Bride's Parents

Mama & her girls...

Papa & his girls...



My Sweet Little Family (& Liz)...

Amazing Bride & Aunt Lisa

What a beautiful celebration of God's love between two godly young people.  I have to admit I was quite taken by the young pastor...Zac Hess!  He did an amazing job and I really am not partial!  This was the first wedding I've attended since Tom's home going and it wasn't easy.  Such emotions, bittersweet...joy mixed with sadness, loneliness while surrounded by those I love, signing the guestbook as one yet understanding I'm never alone...all of this I look at as part of the process of healing.

One of the best parts of the reception was getting to meet so many people who have prayed for me and encouraged me along this journey.  The mother of the groom, Joan, what a sweetheart who continues to encourage, write and pray as a dear sister in the Lord...what a treat to meet you face to face...you're as sweet in person as your words on paper!  Nate, a groomsman from Michigan...if you're reading this...you'll never know what a blessing your testimony to me was...you're forever on my heart and I can't wait to introduce you to Tom when we all get to heaven!  So many family members I haven't seen in some time...Uncle Bill, Jeanette, Randy, Brenda, Nick, Cortney, Kim, Eric and getting to meet Grace & Lucy.

The 15 passenger van Mike rented for the wedding party...

We loaded it up for church on Sunday morning!

(L to R:  Morgan, Tim, Lauren, Braden, Me, Mom & Dad)

(Not pictured:  Mike, Cheryl, Dan, Brittany & Declan!)

God continues to amaze me with His reminders of His love and how He pursues me...we enjoyed communion (Eucharisto...giving thanks) at church on Sunday morning...what a blessing.



Cheryl...in her office at Akron General Hospital

What fun it was to have lunch with Cheryl on Monday and get to meet her co-workers who have faithfully prayed for me through this journey Jesus has me on!

Braden

Field High School Graduate

Magna Cum Laude

Congratulations to Braden for his high school accomplishments.  I was so excited to be there for his graduation...I had not been to any of his sister's graduations because that was always such a busy time at WCHS for Tom and I.  What  special evening for a special nephew!

Cheryl, Braden, Mike & Morgan

Braden will attend Akron University in the fall studying Civil Engineering

Granny, Braden & Papa

Mike and Cheryl called me on the Friday night prior to the wedding to ask me to stay with them for a few days...I had no excuse (or doctors appointments!) so I stayed!  My original plan was to go home Tuesday after meeting Tom's brother, Terry, Joyce, Leah & Cherith while they were passing through northern Ohio on their way to Niagra Falls.  We met at a Cracker Barrel outside of Cleveland and enjoyed fellowship and breakfast together.  I can't tell you how special family is to me, can you tell?

Me, Joyce, Leah (newly engaged!), Terry & Cherith

Love you all SO much!

I'm looking forward to gathering with Tom's family for Leah's wedding in October!

After meeting Terry's family for breakfast, I then met my cousin, Kim for lunch!  I had never been to her home and what a beautiful place she and Eric have.  My aunt and uncle met us there also and we enjoyed fellowship along with lunch at Applebee's!

Me, Kim, Mike, Dad, Uncle Jim, Aunt Joanne & Mom

After lunch Mike mentioned that Matt's camp (Beulah Beach) was only 20 minutes away...want to visit?  Sure, why not?  So we surprised Matt (& Morgan Meyers!) with an impromptu visit.  What a neat place for ministry right on the bank of Lake Erie.  I look forward to more trips back and staying longer.

Mike, Me, Matt, Granny (look up), Aunt J & Uncle Jim

Matt's "dorm"

(upper right window)

Matt's Morning View

"indeed I will greatly bless you,

and I will greatly multiply your seed as the stars of the heavens

and as the sand which is on the seashore..."

Genesis 22:17

Praying God's blessings on Matt as he faithfully and wholeheartedly serves Jesus and His people at Beulah Beach this summer!



Love my brother!

After the wedding/graduation weekend, my brother took a week of vacation.  So along with my parents, he talked me into staying the rest of the week...why not?  What fun we had...my cheeks still hurt from all the laughter!  Thank you, Morgan for giving up your room for me.  Mike kept us busy and I'm so thankful that I could keep up with all the activities.  We spent one day working at the newlyweds new home mulching and weeding.  I wasn't much help but certainly could give orders and enjoy the sunshine.  God has blessed them with a beautiful home!

Mr. & Mrs. Andrew Jeunette's New Home

Stow, Ohio

Sights & Sounds of Akron

Hartville Hardware

Mom, Dad, Mike & Me

(missing Kelly)

A very successful fishing outing for Papa, Mike & Braden!

Haydon Owen Dotson

South Central High School Graduate

Saturday we enjoyed more extended family time at my cousin, Jennifer's sons graduation party!

Getting to meet my second cousin...Cambell James Petee!

May 21, 2013

Great Aunt "B" & Cambell

I'm back home after an amazing week of fun family time.  I'm slowly adjusting back into life at home...glad that my parents are here for another week to ease me into reality.  I have a checkup with my oncologist on Wednesday (6/12) and then with the cardiologist on Monday (6/17).  Please pray that my blood pressure, chest pressure, heart rate and fatigue would improve.  I continue to covet your prayers and appreciate you taking the time to "check into" my life as God has me taking one step at a time fully relying on Him each step of the journey.

"All the paths of the Lord are lovingkindness and truth
To those who keep His covenant and His testimonies."

Psalm 25:10