Heavy Hearts

“Behold, My servants will shout joyfully with a glad heart,
But you will cry out with a heavy heart,
And you will wail with a broken spirit."
Isaiah 65:14

We left the house yesterday at 10:30 for Tom's 11:00 MRI appointment.  We commented on the glory of God's creation as we drove on a clear, crisp, sunshine filled Spring day.  Spring has arrived early here in Central Ohio as the Red Bud, Pear and Tulip tree blooms dazzled us with their bright color and the daffodils and tulips waved their beauty as we drove to the appointment.  We were filled with hope and encouraged one another as we listened to a favorite CD.  No waiting was necessary as they got Tom in right away and told me it would be about 45 minutes.  As I waited, I prayed.  It didn't seem long before the technician was bringing Tom back out when I looked up, heard him coughing and realized "it" was more than a cough.  They quickly turned around and had him out of the waiting area and a trash can came in handy as Tom then vomited.  We still aren't sure where that came from or why...but I wonder if this is the beginning of another hard climb on the roller coaster of life.  Roller coasters can be fun, but after a year of ups, downs, curves and spins...we're ready to get off this ride!

After the MRI we had a short time for lunch before the doctor appointment with the neuro-oncologist.  We decided to go to Wendy's.  Tom wasn't able to eat his sandwich.  I guess the empty stomach didn't want what Wendy's offered!

We arrived at the appointment on time and we were glad to see that the doctor was "on schedule" on the display monitor in the waiting room.  We were escorted to an exam room only to realize that the "on schedule" doctor must have gotten "off schedule" while we waited, waited and then waited some more.  Tom gets very agitated during the waiting process.  I wished I had brought the Skipbo cards to pass the time.  I had a sinking feeling when the doctor finally came into the exam room...MRI showed tumor regrowth...I think he was stalling on coming in to tell us the news.  We are stopping the current chemotherapy regime and contemplating two different options.  One of the options is a clinical trial and we are waiting to hear if Tom even qualifies.  We covet your continued prayer for wisdom as we make vital decisions regarding Tom's treatment.

When we finally arrived home, Tom was exhausted and ready for his nap.  I tucked him in and then proceeded to sob in the other room as I felt my heart crushing, again.  Still I find my emotions raw and guard myself from talking or hugging, which brings a flood of tears.  When Tom woke from his nap we did the "unthinkable"...we allowed our dog Addy up in the bed...which brought a great smile to Tom's face!

As I was typing my phone rang...I just hung up with the Nurse Coordinator at the oncology office and Tom does not qualify for the clinical trial.  No hard decision for me to make...thank you, Lord.  As it stands today, Tom will start Avastin next week.  His platelets are at a low point so we need to let those rebound.  Avastin is an IV drip that will be infused every two weeks.   Two prayer requests while on Avastin:  1)  kidney function and 2)  blood pressure.

This past week we were presented with this beautiful album...a gift of memories from the benefit dinner...truly priceless.  Along with the album is a small "blessings" tin...full of the kind words written to Tom and I...notes of encouragement and blessings.  We are so thankful to have YOU and the body of Christ surrounding us as we walk this adventuresome journey (ride the ride).

Each day we are reading a few cards...remembering and reflecting the love from our dear family and friends.  Thank you to all who participated and have encouraged us along the way.

"Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart,
and the pleasantness of a friend
springs from their heartfelt advice."

Proverbs 27:9

Mexican Chicken & Rice, Cream Corn, Cake & Fresh Pineapple

Thank You, Dennis & Wendy Landis for a delicious dinner Saturday!