A Christmas to Remember

Zac, Sarah, Lisa & Matthew

Why is it that we tend to remember the bad times better than the good times?  I've heard that the more we feel an experience, the better we remember it!  If that's the case...I'll never forget this Christmas.  As my last post stated I had a "simple" out-patient procedure to internally blast an overly large kidney stone on the Friday before Christmas.  Two, or maybe three, days of discomfort, pass the stone fragments and life moves on...not for me!  After three days of increasing pain, calls to the doctor, drinking fluid non-stop, I woke up Christmas morning feverish.  My parents loaded me up and delivered me to OSU Medical Center where I eventually was diagnosed with urosepsis from blockage between bladder and kidney...after an emergency surgery to place a stent, heavy antibiotics and two nights in the hospital, I came home.  It's been a very, LONG two and a half weeks.  Finally, today I am seeing some light at the end of this long, dark tunnel.  Today the stent was removed, relief!

I realize I am not a nice person when I'm in pain.

I realize I said some mean things to people I will probably never see again.

I realize I'm a pampered, spoiled American who expects things (comfort)...

and when I don't get them I pout, scream & kick (& talk "ugly" too)!

Lord, forgive me...

"But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison.

With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men,

who have been made in the likeness of God;

from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing.

My brethren, these things ought not to be this way.

Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water?"

James 3:8-11

I realize I am broken.  I am bitter.

I realize I need a Savior.

EVERY BREATH

EVERY SECOND

Until He calls me home.

I have found myself on several occasions blaming 'not having a husband to temper me' as why I'm the way I am or why I said something I shouldn't have.  I could not have made it through the past two weeks without my parents being here...serving, loving and just being here physically to encourage when I felt so discouraged!  

 

Recently while reading a chapter in "Let Me Grieve but not Forever", God grabbed my heart...



"Was there meaning in my life solely because of Tom?

Or was my life with Tom a wonderful bonus to the

meaning in my life because of God?  So does meaning

for me now become impossible because there is no Tom?

Or can there be renewed meaning because there is a God?

I have lost Tom - I haven't lost God.  One was a gift in time;

the other a gift for eternity."

-Verdell Davis

(changed name from Creath to Tom)

 

Another inspiring blog I'm following:  Undiminished Me

 

I am not content though, to go through this process of grieving Tom's loss via the path of least resistance.  If there is something good to be got from it, by Golly, I want to get it.  The pain is too much to come out with bitterness, disillusionment, cynicism, or mere apathy.  Those are what I think I will end up with if I don’t actively fight my way through this thing. Or as C.S. Lewis so aptly put it, “If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.”
I will get there in time.  I will resist the urge to lie on the couch in the fetal position watching re-runs of “HGTV” 24/7 while eating a case of Twizzlers and sulking in sadness.  Instead, I will talk to Him more about my little case of denial.  I will stay in fellowship with the saints and allow them to minister truth to me.  I will worship and praise Him and study his Word harder than ever.  I will cherish the memories I have and, someday, I will praise Him for the demise of one very fine young man with my head and heart.
I will grow—grow to more like Christ and not be diminished.
(Ok, I changed a few words to make her statements mine...is that legal?)



Thanksgiving Past...Christmas Forward

I haven't stopped writing blogs...it's just that they're all in my head and not posted here!

I have SO much swimming in my head, I even wake up at night thinking "I should write that down"!

  

Thanksgiving Highlights:

Traveling to Michigan to be with Dan, Brittany, Declan & precious, new born baby, Holden!

Nothing quite like 'newborn snuggles'

Great Grandparents & Grandparents

...and don't forget all the amazing food!

 

Bowling with the Meyer's Family

(L to R) Carylee, Ike, Doug, Joel, Jess & Morgan

 

Annie Grace's 1st birthday!

Yes, your eyes aren't tricking you...that's a real gun, a 22 as a matter of fact!

What one year old, girl, gets a gun for her first birthday?

One little girl whose father loves to hunt and happens to work for Cabela's!

"Annie get your gun!"

 

Christmas Cookie Baking with Sarah

Buckeyes - Chocolate Chex Mix - Pecan Tarts - Chocolate Crinkles

...cut-outs not pictured...

 

Stranger Becomes Friend

While recently shopping at the local supermarket, I was stopped by a lady who asked:

"Are you Lisa Anglea?"

Ugh...yes, I am...

This dear lady, I'd never met before, recognized me from this blog!  Her son is a senior at WCHS.  Tom had the privilege of interviewing this family just prior to his diagnosis.

We enjoyed a lengthy conversation in the cheese aisle!

I'm lifting you up, Pam...trusting God to hold you tight just as He is me!

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted

And saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Psalm 34:18

 

Rocks in my Stocking

I write this next "highlight" with much embarrassment...

Over Thanksgiving I was experiencing much pain, a familiar pain...I have a kidney stone.

I've had a kidney stone before and know that feeling.

After two weeks of persistent pain I finally called the doctor and a CT scan was performed.

The doctor called with the inevitable news:

"You have kidney stones"

 I was waiting to hear:

"You have a kidney stone"

Leave it to me...not one, not two, but three!

 Two in my left kidney and one in the right...not passable!

After meeting with an urologist...surgery is scheduled for Friday.

An outpatient procedure:  ureteroscopy with laser lithotripsy.

Thank you to Stephanie LaMonte for making the day of appointments (in the snow storm) much more enjoyable than going alone!

2014 can only get better...right?!

 

Condo Living

I'm not sure it can get any quieter than living alone...

better to hear God speak!

The floors are solid, no basement...

Did I mention how quiet it is here?

My "son-in-love" recently visited and said it's like an old persons home...

my place heats up so quickly & I love that!

(I guess old people's homes are warm!)

I like cozy...flip a switch and I have a fire...it doesn't get much easier than that...

I watched Tom labor over chopping, splitting, stacking & hauling firewood for years!

We both loved a roaring fire...my gas logs don't "roar", but I know Tom smiles down on me as I pull my chair up and block all the heat (no one to block)!  He used to call me HB (aka: heat blocker)!

 There are so many aspects of living alone that make Tom's absence more profound...

Keeping my car clean in this salty, snowy winter...

Keeping gas in my car, pumping gas is COLD...

Dropping me off at the door to wherever we were going...

he was the ultimate "southern gentleman"...

always getting my door for me...

I now park, walk & reminisce of "the good old days"...

What a nice, big garage I have...

I'm so thankful I don't have to leave my car out to have to scrape when ice and snow comes!

 Something Tom always did was take out the trash...

I'm thankful I can do it...when I remember!  He had such a keen memory of trash day!

 

Living Christmas Trees

(aka: LCT, or as Tom would say LTC!)

I had the privilege of joining the Meyers family for this years Pageant last night.

I think it was one of my favorites, but I think I say that every year!

Here is my favorite song from this year:

"This Blood"

 

The highlight was seeing Eli (Dwayne Smith) dance in "heaven" at the end of the show!

I cried like a baby thinking of Tom dancing...full, whole and perfect before his heavenly Father!

It's an incredible feeling...the hope of heaven...my heart is full!

My prayer is that when God calls me to my real home in heaven,

that I will see YOU there one day too!

 

Giving, Not Getting

This year my extended family "adopted" two less fortunate families for Christmas.

Instead of buying for each other we bought for them!

What fun it was to see all the goodies gathered...

an anonymous gift of love sure to bring joy!

Sarah & Aubrey wrap the gifts!

 

Praying your Christmas celebration is celebrating CHRIST!

 

But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold,

I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people;

for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior,

who is Christ the Lord.

Luke 2:10-11 



New Birth, New Home

Congratulations Dan & Brittany!

A healthy 7 lb. 4 oz. baby boy joins big brother, Declan

Holden David Magee

 

And again, “I will put My trust in Him.”

And again, “Behold, I and the children whom God has given Me.”

Hebrews 2:13

 

This Thanksgiving it will be an honor to travel with Matthew and my parents to Michigan to visit the Magee family and meet Holden!

 

"The Move"



I am safely and comfortably settled into my new condo thanks to the help of so many!  My parents top the list and win the award for "getting 'er done"!  I am so blessed to have them here at this time to offer such help.  Not only were they instrumental in helping with the last minute packing, loading, cleaning, unpacking and PAINTING!  They just finished painting the exterior of their home in Florida and now have contributed to painting two bedrooms and two bathrooms at my home AND the family room, office, bedroom and bathroom at Zac and Sarah's also!  They are ready to retire their paintbrushes for awhile!  I want to "shout out" to Zac, Sarah, Terry, Kelly, Nathan, Doug, Carylee, & Ginny too for their help, encouragement, food and love toward me in this BIG change.  I told my mom, "I feel like I'm house-sitting with my furniture!".  So far I am feeling quite settled and have enjoyed the decorating process, however if I stop long enough to think too much about it I can feel very sad.  I continue to choose to be thankful:  beautiful home, family, friends, a new job, feeling well and my salvation.  What an awesome Thanksgiving service we had today!  I was so moved by the worship songs and challenge given to reach out to those who do not share in the hope of heaven that I have...YES, I am blessed and thankful.

Thank You, Lori Miller...

A house-warming Gerber daisy and my first Christmas ornament for my new home...

a perfect reminder to...PRAISE HIM!

 

Some Sneak Peaks of my Condo...

 

I was told not to put my new address on this blog sight, so...

Either email me or Facebook message me if you want my new address!

 

 

Noah & Brady Dotson

What a fun "Sister Date" I had traveling to Greenwich, Ohio to see another amazing theater production by SCHS.  What a great job my cousin's boys did in

"Fiddler on the Roof".

I'm always thrilled to be able to go and I've never been disappointed!

  

"O give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
For His lovingkindness is everlasting."

I Chronicles 16:34

BIRTHday...

It's a GIRL!

Collins Avery Wyszynski

Saturday, November 2, 2013

5:30 a.m. ~ 7lbs. 6oz. ~ 19"

What a sweet surprise to have my great-niece enter this world one day shy of her Great Uncle Tom's birthday!  Tomorrow would have been Tom's 51st birthday...no celebration here but I'm sure heaven is still celebrating! We do celebrate Tim and Lauren and congratulate them on a beautiful baby girl.

Great Aunt Lisa & Baby Collins

Today was the season opener for MVNU Basketball.  What fun it was to cheer Matt and the Mount Vernon Cougars to a 90-62 victory over Purdue University - North Central.  After the game Zac, Sarah, Matt, Liz and I went to Parkside Restaurant to celebrate Matt's birthday (11/4, the day after Tom's).  It's been tradition for the last 22 years to celebrate Tom and Matt's birthdays together...no longer two celebrations...just one celebration and one remembrance. 

Happy 22nd Birthday, Matt!

Life is busy...

Surgery is over...

A new job has begun...

Packing is in full swing...

Zac and Sarah will close on their " new" home on November 8th...

I will close on my new condo on November 14th...

Recovering from surgery, starting a new job and moving, has me spinning in many directions!  I'm looking forward to my parents coming into town for the month to help with many of the details of this move and to celebrate my favorite holiday...THANKSGIVING!  Thank you for your continued prayers as I make these major life changes...I've never lived alone.  I'm not excited about that fact BUT I am excited for Zac and Sarah to have 'another' new start to their young married life!

Janice Akers visits before surgery!

Thank You, Paul & Ellen Schoonover for your beautiful way of remembering Tom!

 

MVNU Seniors:

Matt Anglea ~ Caleb Williams ~ Garrison Hinkle

 

Zac & Sarah at the Ohio State vs. Penn State Game

Changes

This is from a card I received this week and because it touched my heart...I share it with you:

Remembering...

A first birthday is an exciting event,

A memorable occasion.

A first anniversary is happy too;

That is, if it's a wedding anniversary.

But how about the first anniversary of a death?

I've never found a card for that one.

Do we ignore it?

I doubt that Lisa can,

And Tom is worth remembering.

I won't ignore it either.

For I can't think of a better time to say,

I love you.

My heart is aching too.

And if it's not appropriate to say Happy Anniversary,

I can say

Congratulations, God and Lisa!

Together you've survived the first year.

No, more than that.

You've conquered it.

And the second time around

Is never quite as

hard.

-Dorthy Hsu Seitzinger

Thank You, Dorothy...you know, you understand...I love you!

 

After a great "stay-cation" with Carylee I was able to come home, repack and receive sweet encouragement from so many cards, emails, texts, gifts of love and an awesome lunch with Zac and Sarah.

A heart griping, timely book...

Thank You, Kay Scott!

Pumpkin Muffins from Cory & Karen Estabrook

Thank You!

A basket full of comforting items from my MOPS moms

Thank You!

Beautiful flowers from the Deacons at Grace Polaris

Thank You!

 

Ginny took me on a get-away trip to Holmes County, Ohio to step back in time, slow down and reflect.  The first stop on our journey was to Smucker's in Orrville, Ohio.

Fun times...

Amish Country...peace & comfort

Tranquility...



A highlight of our trip...

watching the children come down the hill after school,

hop on their bikes and ride home...priceless!

What fun it was to meet up with Ginny's niece and two daughters on Friday night for pizza and a stay in this beautiful log cabin just two doors down from Ginny's niece's house!  Saturday morning we enjoyed a BIG Amish breakfast and more shopping with Autumn and her girls.  From there we headed to Mansfield to spend time with Ginny's parents and help with a painting project.

What a joy for me to be able to "give back" and help out with this project.  What sweet hosts Ginny's parents were.  I always enjoy my time with them and appreciate their faithful prayers on my behalf.  Will you please join with me in lifting up Ginny's dad who took a nasty fall on Saturday?  No broken bones (that we know of) but a lot of bruising and soreness.  Sunday we enjoyed worshiping at Berean Bible Church and then an amazing pot roast lunch made by Ginny's mom...YUM!
Sunday night found me with a grateful heart singing the praises of my friends and thanking the Lord for the opportunities He blesses me with and at the same time I felt myself sinking back into "woe is me" as the reality of "coming back" to the real world and an empty house...bittersweet...good times mingle with the sadness of Tom not here to share life experiences with.  I know he'd be so excited to hear all about my adventures...so I just talked to him as though he was here listening!  I thank the Lord for seeing me through this last year.  The last three weeks were the hardest...remembering the three weeks of hospice a year ago.  But, Thursday was filled with peace.  Peace of knowing where Tom is...heaven.  Peace in my decisions...knowing Tom would approve.  Peace in my heart...knowing I'll see Tom again.  Peace in my home...children who love me and Jesus.

"But according to His promise we are looking for new heavens and a new earth,

in which righteousness dwells.  Therefore, beloved, since you look for these things,

be diligent to be found by Him in peace, spotless and blameless,

and regard the patience of our Lord as salvation;"

II Peter 3:13-15a

 



It wasn't all that long ago that I shared..."it's not like October 10th will come and I'll be making any major decisions"...wrong!  Yes, I got a job.  Yes, I sold my (our) home (to Zac & Sarah!).  Yes, I bought a condo (closing 11/14)!  AND...tomorrow (10/16) I'm having surgery!  Change...yes, a lot!  Never in a million years could I have guessed all this would happen so quickly and easily...I trust it is the Lord opening and closing doors to make this transition as smooth as He can for me.  I continue to trust Him for the grace for each day, and so far, He's been extremely faithful in meeting me right where I need Him!
About the surgery...in March I had a mastectomy and at that time the surgeon placed an expander and a port with the hopes of reconstruction at a later date.  Well...since my heart block and the need for a pacemaker I am now not a candidate for reconstruction...too high risk of infection with a pacemaker.  So the surgery is to remove the expander and port.  It is an out-patient surgery.  I am not planning on any complications, however I am trusting God for my heart to stay strong (or at least that the pacer will function as needed!).  I am thankful Sarah is able to take the day off to go with me.  Thank you in advance for your continued prayers.

A dozen roses from my dad...

Heaven rejoiced when Tom arrived one year ago...

we will never forget how Tom touched our lives!

I love you, Dad

A beautiful prayer shawl & CD...

Thank You, Margo Belkofer

Ginny & I purchased 42 pounds of golden delicious apples while we were in Amish country.  Yesterday we cut, cooked, strained and froze the most yummy applesauce!

Thank You, Ginny...you're awesome!

One Year Ago

Listen With Your Heart

Memories are a treasure time cannot take away,

so may you be surrounded by happy ones today...

May all the love and tenderness of golden years well spent,

come back today to fill your heart with beauty and content...

And may you walk down memory lane and meet the one you love,

for while you cannot see him, he'll be watching from above...

And if you trust your dreaming, your faith will make it true,

and if you listen with your heart he'll come and talk with you...

So for his sake be happy and show him that his love,

has proven strong and big enough to reach down from above...

And you will never walk alone when memories door swings wide,

for you'll find that your beloved is always at your side.

 

J. Thomas Anglea

November 3, 1962 ~ October 10, 2012

 

Last weekend Tom's family gathered together to celebrate our niece, Leah's wedding to Pete Cavanaugh.  What a beautiful celebration we enjoyed as they joined their hearts as one.  The only piece missing from a beautiful day was "Uncle Tom". 

 

Sweet Sisters

Cherith & Hannah

 

One of the best parts of the weekend was meeting my great nephew & niece:



Great Aunt Lisa & Ian Thomas Walker

Sarah & Kennedy Faith Miller

 

Matt, Pops, Granny, Sarah & Zac

 

Uncle Y.T., Aunt Patsy, Granny & Pops

What an encouraging Sunday sermon...a great reminder of our eternal home.  What a blessing to know that "there is more to come"!  Thanks Terry for remembering and allowing us to marvel in God's amazing plan!

 

 

Because I have the most amazing friends ever...I have not been wallowing in the "woe is me" syndrome this week.  The one year anniversary of Tom's home-going has been planned and prepared by my friends.  This week, Carylee planned a "staycation".  We enjoyed the comforts of her in-law suite, biking adventure, Graeter's Ice Cream, Piada dinner, the movie "Grace Unplugged", shopping, Tom's Ice Cream Bowl, prayer time and great fellowship! At the end of my sweet time with Carylee I will then be doted upon by Ginny!  Our plans are to enjoy the beauty of Fall in the Amish territory of Holmes County, Ohio! I am blessed.

Biking to Downtown Westerville

A Trip to Zanesville...Tom's Ice Cream Bowl

A Family Tradition Over the Years!

I am so thankful for the strength the Lord continues to give me.  I know that Tom wants me to be happy and move on...not forgetting him, but living with him in my heart and treasuring the precious memories we had for 28+ years!



"Blessed be the Lord,

Because He has heard the voice of my supplication.
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped;
Therefore my heart exults,
And with my song I shall thank Him.
The Lord is their strength,
And He is a saving defense to His anointed."

Psalm 28:6-8